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Thoughts about the Metro while on the Metro

Ive travelled on nearly every major rail transit system in Western, Central and parts of Eastern Europe. I’ve been on the subway in New York, the Bart in San Francisco, and Amtrak up the entire length of the East Coast. Generally, I like trains. I was close to mugged in Prague, crushed in Rome, and lost in Paris on the metros. Generally, I still liked trains.

That is, until I came to DC. Trains stop suddenly, jerking passengers forward before starting up again to begin the process again. Metro stations, and often, trains, are without air conditioning. The Metro is a reflection of the larger problems of the city. Everyone is cranky, no one smiles, and there is a convening of a volatile brew of many different sects of society.

Morning sickness is not a condition that afflicts pregnant women.

It’s a condition that afflicts WMATA riders.

Ultimately, I like not having a car….most of the time. Walking gets tiresome, but since I think I’m stuck with this Metro thing, and since they’re considering raising fares by 45 cents next year, I thought I’d make a few recommendations.

  • The copy of the morning Express is not a suitable substitute for air conditioning in Metro stations or Metro cars. I’m drenched by the time I get to the Metro in the morning - I’m soaked by the time I get off. I’d be happy with fans at this point.
  • All Metro cars should install Purell hand sanitizing dispensers. Just for that special someone who sneezes on the back of your neck.
  • There is no need to stop and start 5 times to get between two stops. I haven’t had my coffee yet when I’m on the Metro, and I haven’t eaten, but this still gives me dry heaves. Just stop until we can go.
  • Smile - but don’t stare.
  • If you have hair that is in my face, consider cutting it off.
  • Have you ever tried to drive through Georgetown? Build a damn Metro stop.
  • Escalators are called stairs if they are not turned on

Those are my random thoughts for making the Metro that we all know and love just a little bit better.

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